Letter to My Baby: Week 2

This week I am playing catch-up.  I have been writing weekly letters with the intent of posting, just had to find the time to do it.  Hopefully I can get them all in this week.

Monday, October 04, 2010  11:17pm

Dear Ryder,

Today you are two weeks old. Already you are looking bigger to me. This makes me a little sad, becauseyou will grow so fast and I just want to hang on to your tininess and newness for as long as I can. I miss feeling your kicks and wiggles inside of me. You are so much a part of me. It is hard to imagine what life was like without you.

 I finally feel that I am getting to really enjoy you.  We were both so sleepy our first week together that it all seemed to have passed by in a blur.  Your second week was a little tough because we were all figuring stuff out; solving your eating issues, adjusting our sleep schedule, etc.  I’m afraid your mom was a bit of a mess all week; trying to process your birth, mourning giving up breastfeeding, healing from surgery, and simply adapting to life with a newborn.  Holding you through my tears was so peaceful.  Thank you for giving me lots of baby snuggles.

You are such a beautiful baby.  I am astounded by how beautiful every time I look at you.  It’s funny, because I didn’t expect this before you were born.  I thought you would look more like a “typical” baby, bald, slightly wrinkly, non-distinct features.  I am amazed by your blond hair, your clear expressions, and bright eyes.  You are going to be such a handsome boy, and I can’t wait to see how you grow.

Do you know that you already have a reputation for being stubborn?  In the hospital the nurses laughed at your crying when something was not to your liking.  You were recruited to be the star baby for the maternity tour.  You decided that you wanted nothing to do with it and wailed for the whole half hour before.  Luckily, you calmed down right in time to capture everyone’s hearts.  Both in the hospital and here at home you purse your little lips of you don’t like something, or when you are finished with your bottle or binky.  You can go from being perfectly content to crying at the top of your lungs if you decide you don’t like something.  When you are really upset you cry so hard that you turn red and run out of air before gulping in a deep breath to wail again.  My heart melts at your deep, throaty little cry.  Your dad and I just love it, even as we try to comfort you and make you stop.

Your first couple of days home you mostly just ate and slept as you worked on rebuilding your strength.  Now you are a little more alert and letting us know what your preferences are.  You love to be held, and will gaze at me or your dad with your big, bright eyes.  You also like me to wear you in a wrap, where you are against my chest and can listen to my heartbeat.  I love feeling your warmth and listening to your breathing as you sleep.  

Your dad and I have taken you on a few outings to the store or to people’s homes.  For the most part as long as you are fed and dry you are a happy and content baby.   You sleep a lot.  You have also started giving us smiles in your sleep.  I am still in so much awe that you are here and are mine.

I love you baby boy.

Mamma