Letter to my Baby: Week 6

Friday, November 05, 2010 6:06am

Dear Ryder,

You are now six weeks old.  How the time is flying by.  You are growing by leaps and bounds.  This week you learned how to mimic faces.  When I stick out my tongue at you, you concentrate really hard on my face and then you start to copy me!  It feels like I can feel your little mind turning and working hard to make new connections and learn new things.  Every once in a while you will sort of mimic a smile.  Both your daddy and I are so excited for your first real smile, even though we know it will probably be another couple of weeks.

You celebrated your first Halloween last weekend.  We spent Halloween night with our friends the Van Dyke’s watching Halloween movies and handing out candy to trick-or-treaters.  You didn’t like that we kept opening the door when you were trying to take a nap!

This week has been a little bit harder for Momma.  I have again been thinking a lot about how you were born and feeling a little bit sad about some things we missed out on together.  I have written all about your birth, but haven’t really told you a lot about what happened before that.   You decided that you wanted to ‘knock on the door’ a little too early.  You dropped at 27 weeks and I started having some early labor symptoms, although at the time, I didn’t know what they were.  Because of that I had to go on bed rest from July 6 all the way until September 7^th.  That is a long time!  During that time I would spend a lot of hours talking to you, picturing life with you, and imagining the moment when you were born.   Now that you are here, I worry about doing what is best for you.  I still struggle with trusting that my decisions are right.  I just ache to give you all that you need!  We will have to learn together, and I am going to work really hard to be ‘good enough’ for you even though I am not perfect.

I love you.

Mamma